Falling For Fall. Or Autumn. Take Your Pick.

I do adore Fall. 

Autumn. 

Whatever you call it. 

It gives you a nice respite from the heat of summer. 

Now don't get me wrong, I do love the heat of summer, too. 

As long as I'm near my pool. 

Or on a beach with the ocean or a cool lake within sight. 

But I must be able to see said water with my eyeglasses off. 

So, that liquid must be right there!

But, I digress. 

Back to Autumn. 

The cool mornings. 

The cool nights. 

The cool nights without mosquitoes buzzing your head and biting your neck. 

The girls and I played basketball last night in our driveway at dusk. 

It was perfect. 

My dad has been growing pumpkins the last few years. 

And he grew these ginormous gourds which resemble geese. 

Or snakes. 

Choose your creature, it's there. 

The girls have made some sort of gourd family. 

I have to shuffle my coffee cup around them each morning. 

They sleep in their beds made out of cardboard mattress, kleenex comforters, and cotton ball pillows right on our dining room table. 

I was told that these are "the twins."

I wonder if I have a can of pumpkin in the pantry?

I could make some pumpkin cookies this weekend. 

For some reason, they always taste best when made at the beginning of Fall. 

The smell of pumpkin reminds us of a certain time. 

A certain season. 

Memories are released and I, for one, walk around with a smile on my face when it's pumpkin season. 

It would be ruined if Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts had pumpkin this or that all year long. 

The corn came down across the street from our farm yesterday. 

Howard Buffett (Warren's son) owns the farmland. 

His giant green John Deere combines took it down within a few hours.

One minute it's up. 

And literally, in the next minute it's down. 

Halloween stores pop up around town beginning in September. 

The kids love to go in and get ideas for costumes. 

To get scared by the displays. 

Displays that get creepier each year. 

Our society isn't afraid of anything anymore. 

Which is both sad and frightening in itself. 

A Day At The Zoo

I took the girls to St. Louis today.

We went to the zoo. 

We try to drive to this zoo a few times a year. 

It's closer for us than Chicago zoos. 

They have a new polar bear and a new exhibit space for him. 

He's from Alaska and is little over two years of age.  

They have named him Kali. 

Here's his bio from the zoo's website...

The first occupant of this exhibit is Kali (pronounced "Cully”), a 2 ½ year-old, 850-pound male polar bear that was orphaned in Alaska. In March 2013, the orphaned bear was turned over to U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service (USFWS) by an Alaska Native hunter who killed Kali’s mother in a subsistence hunt without realizing the mother had a cub. USFWS determined that St. Louis would be the bear’s permanent home, working with the Association of Zoos and Aquariums (AZA) Polar Bear Species Survival Plan (SSP)

He seemed to love chomping on his ice. 

While I love zoos, I also feel a bit sad that some of these animals never see the wild. 

But, most have been born into captivity and know nothing else. 

As climate change is hurting the polar bear population, this new home should be a safe and secure place for this young polar bear. 

I hope he is the start of a great legacy. 

We also saw some happy chimps. 

They kissed. 

Just a peck. 

The girls conversed with a bird. 

I think it's a cormorant. 

And I saw a scene straight out of a Serengeti stock film. 

I Don't Like December

As the month of December works it's way with me, I remember. 

As I scrunch my nose at all of the stuff I'm supposed to buy for everyone, I remember. 

As I take the cross looks from some members in my family because I want to stay home instead of go to the mall, I remember. 

December has become my least favorite month of the entire year. 

Everyone wants my time. 

Our dwindling stack of money. 

I feel stressed that there's so much to do. 

I have started saying no to people asking for my body to be in different places at all times. 

And I remember. 

I remember that a few years ago my daughter was enduring a hell I can't comprehend. 

I remember that she had years of drugs ahead of her before she would be cured. 

IF she could be cured. 

She missed many functions at school. 

She was exhausted as if she had run four marathons one after another. 

She barely ate.

She still barely eats. 

Two Christmases later, she's still tired. 

My husband and I are trying very hard to keep her strong. 

Both physically and mentally. 

She has a personality that can turn on a dime. 

She gets frustrated very easily. 

She snaps at her sister. 

At her mom. 

At her grandma. 

My thoughts wander to the two years of chemo, did they alter her personality?

Or was it the radiation to her brain?

Or is this just who she is?

All of the wants and stress of the Christmas season are really wearing on me this year. 

Last year wasn't much better. 

December. 

I'm a humbug about this month now. 

The FB posts about people and their little, tiny complaints. 

I have a cold. 

My eye hurts. 

I am out of Elf on the Shelf ideas (something I refuse to participate in!)

Why do people need to cram so many presents, good deeds, donations into one month?

And I remember. 

That Jake and countless other kids aren't here for Christmas anymore.

Because cancer was too strong. 

And they were too tired.

And those moms and dads are the ones who really struggle during the holidays. 

I feel a depression settle into my body. 

Can I hide?

Hide in my house with my kids and husband?

We can hibernate like a Christmas groundhog and come out after the holiday is over. 

We can do what WE want to do instead of what everyone thinks we are supposed to do. 

Because for me, Christmas has become unfun. 

It's become stressful. 

And my ho-ho-ho has been lost. 

I need to figure out how to fix things for my family. 

How to take back this month. 

Maybe my cheer IS there and I need to close out everyone outside my home and look deep into my Christmas tree. 

I wish we could go away during the holidays. 

To our own secret space where the outside world is left there. 

And try to find the real joy of the holiday and remember that what we have gained is the most important gift of all. 

A second chance. 

Sugar On The Floor

It's begun. 

It's that glorious time of year where my kids dress up and pretend to be someone else. 

This year they are channeling the island of Japan and dressing up for Halloween in kimonos and practicing saying kin'nichiwa to each other. 

And yesterday we went to the first of three events that we are hitting this Halloween season to get free candy. 

Because it's really all about the free candy. 

I'm not one of those 21st Century parents that's all like *candy is bad-eat fruit at Halloween-brush your teeth after each bite of chocolate-I'm a mean mom.*

I see people like that on the Today show. 

And we don't go to "safe" events where parking lots are covered with cars stating their candy is better because it's being passed out by nice Christians. 

We go to neighborhoods. 

And ring doorbells of people we don't know. 

Because the world isn't any more scary now than it was when I was growing up. 

There's just 24 hour cable news now. 

Telling us to be afraid. 

I ate candy from strangers as a kid. 

My husband ate candy from strangers.

My kids eat candy from strangers. 

But like everything we do, it's all eaten in moderation. 

That's my big disclaimer. 

So, yesterday my kids got their plastic pumpkin buckets filled with free sugar. 

And I'm finding it everywhere.

Wrappers on the kitchen sink. 

Chocolate crumbles on the side table next to my favorite chair. 

Nerds on the living room rug. 

Candy. 

Is. 

Everywhere. 

The dogs are super happy, though. 

And the kids slept well because once they came down from their sugar high they were exhausted. 

Halloween in America. 

Where witches and apples covered in caramel co-mingled with 6 year olds and strangers giving your kid sugar. 

It's pretty damn fabulous. 

Celebrating A Sunset And A Birthday

Thursday I stopped the car on the country road that is near our house to snap this sunset. 

We were on the way to piano lessons and this was to pretty to pass up. 

After I took the picture I glanced into the rear view mirror and reminded the girls that "sometimes you just need to stop and take a picture of what's in front of you."

Zoe turns 9 on Tuesday so birthday extravaganza began on Friday. 

I made cookies and some other snacks in preparation for Saturday's party. 

Zoe has an Art Theme this year. 

This is my attempt at a paint palette cookie. 

The Arty Party was Saturday and it was fun!

I've cheated here on the "photo of the day" and added "photoS of the day!"

We had the party at the Decatur Area Arts Council and they provided a magnificent space and a great teacher. 

She taught the kids an hour of art instruction in oil pastels and then we had pizza, opened gifts, and played art bingo.

Zoe invited a few friends from school and her cousins.

So. 

Much. 

Fun!

Sunday we had a family party. 

Aunts, Uncles, Grandpa and Grandma, and cousins. 

Zoe wanted a cookie cake this year. 

We were all very, VERY impressed by what Mrs. Field's Cookies at the mall created for her. 

Zoe is wearing a birthday gift created for her by her cousin Hanna, an infinity scarf in her school colors. 

Traditional Trips

Post 2 of 2 in a series titled "Traditions" from my
blog group Homesteaders and Homeschoolers.

 

 

 

Traditions are a part of our family vacations. 

Not in that we travel to the same place year after year (but that would be super fun!). 

But in what we do when we go on a vacation. 

Now, if you know me well, you know my family loves animals. 

Exotic animals. 

Farm animals. 

Sea animals. 

Reptiles. 

Bugs. 

Birds. 

We dig it all. 

So, when we travel, we always go to a zoo. 

Even before we had kids, Chad and I would visit a zoo whenever we traveled. 

We've been to the zoo in...

Portland, Oregon

Fort Worth, Texas

Paris, France

San Diego

Los Angeles 

The National Zoo in D.C.

St. Louis, Missouri

Columbus, Ohio

Chicago (of course!)

Houston, Texas

There are so many more for us to visit. 

Each city gives us a new opportunity to have an animal experience. 

Yet at one zoo, we have the same experience. 

Whenever we go to the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago, tradition stands that Chad and the girls will pose in front of the lion grotto and I'll snap a picture. 

These are just a few in our arsenal.

There's always a way to get up close and personal with creatures. 

We love to pet and feed anything we can get our hands on. 

We all get giddy with excitement if we can pet an emu or feed a giraffe. 

Giraffes are always popular. 

So friendly no matter where we encounter them. 

Sometimes we do stay local and visit our hometown zoo which is awesome. 

We've met up with cousins and friends at zoos in different states.  

And we've watched our children grow up with wonder and respect for the world at their level. 

They've learned about conservation, extinction, and nachos. 

They understand the difference between a monkey and an ape. 

And the difference between an Icee and a snow cone. 

They've seen sea lions, okapi, elephants, rhinos, tortoises, constrictors, meerkats, eagles, millipedes, crocs, koala bears, and every other animal. 

Except one. 

Panda Bears are on the list, yet to be seen by these two animal enthusiasts. 

Learning to love all creatures on this expansive planet is a big tradition of ours. 

A tradition of teaching our children that we are all a part of this thing we call life. 

Visiting a zoo on a vacation is a family tradition of ours. 

I can't wait for them to see those pandas!

Tradition

Part 1of 2 in a series titled "Traditions" from my
blog group Homesteaders and Homeschoolers. 

Tradition:
noun
1 a : an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior.

• 2 : the handing down of information, beliefs, and customs by word of mouth or by example from one generation to another without written instruction.

 

When most people think of traditions they immediately think of holiday traditions. 

Christmas trees, turkeys, Easter egg hunts, firework displays. 

But traditions can mean everyday events as well. 

Eating dinner together at the table every night. 

Friday night movies. 

Making perogies from scratch with dad. 

And in our house, it means celebrating birthdays. 

Our children's birthdays. 

I don't really need a birthday celebration anymore. 

I don't want to be reminded of my age. 

But my kids, now that's a whole different story. 

Birthdays are meant to be celebrated with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. 

A joyful day to remember that this child came into the world and we celebrate each new year of her life. 

As my daughters have gotten older and made friends we have ventured into parties with peers. 

Gigi will be having her first "girl friends" party this Saturday. 

I don't mind spending money to have a party for my kids to spend the day giggling and cavorting with their buddies. 

Money well spent I say.

It's not a burden.
It's a reason to celebrate this beautiful child's existence.
Everyone should be made to feel special once a year.
To know that they are loved and that others care for them.
It's a basic human feeling.
And having a party to celebrate your life is a perk you shouldn't withhold from your child.

 

It's a real life event to behold. 

The moment our children are born.

I remember both of my kid's births as if it were yesterday. 
 

And I mean to continue celebrating their lives each year on the day they arrived. 
I may become an embarrassment to them as they get older, but that's what a mom is for, right? 

When Zoe was diagnosed with cancer it stopped time for a bit. 

Would she have any more birthdays to celebrate?

Would we be able to see her grow into a young woman?

Into an adult?

I can't predict her future, but of course I'm overly hopeful. 

Birthdays are a reminder that our daughters are alive and they have breath to blow out their candles each year.

A tradition I will continue until I'm no longer able to breathe...