Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Saying Goodbye To An Old Friend

I was tagged in a really sad post today on Facebook. 
Memories flooded my mind and a tinge of bittersweetness made its way through my body. 

I went to college in the fall of 1989. 
And met my forever friends there. 
On the campus of Illinois State University in Normal, Illinois. 
I lived in an all girls dorm my freshman year. 
Do those even exist anymore?
Or does everyone just co-mingle from day one?


Sophomore year I was in a dorm that was all female on one side and all male on the other side. 
There was a lounge area connecting the two sides of that monstrous square building that allowed the males and females to engage with one another. 
So many memories were made there. 
Watching Thirtysomething once a week in someone's tiny room. 
I still can't believe Gary died. 
Horrible. 
Working in the cafeteria on the main floor...which really meant I just hung out with my friends while they ate and occasionally filled the croutons on the salad bar. 
Meeting Bill, who now goes by Jake (huh?) and his drummer roommate Chip. 
Steve and his twin. 
And later finding out Steve had no twin, he just dressed in a bipolar manner. 
Making friends with the cleaning ladies Rhonda and Angie. 


But the summer before junior year, we made our way out of the confines of RAs and guests who had to be registered to visit your room, to the house. 
Our house. 
Which really belonged to the single, elderly lady who lived next door with her cats. 
But, it became ours. 
All 11 of us. 
I think there were 11 original residents. 
The house was very big. 
And was known by its address alone.
916 Hovey. 
And the gals who lived there became The Hovey Girls. 

The first year was hectic in the house. 
Not only were there 11 women living there, but also their boyfriends at times and various random friends. 
I don't recall too many problems. 
Which is rare with that many females residing under one roof. 

The summer before senior year, our numbers dwindled down. 
At the start of (most) everyone's last year in college, 916 Hovey housed 8 girls. 
I think. 
My memory is in its forties now. 
There were a lot of rooms.
How I got my own bedroom every year is mind boggling in itself. 
Boyfriends, a fiancĂ©, male and female friends from other local universities, a few cats, friends from across campus all made their way to our home. 
The home of The Short Hair Club. 
Because...we all had short hair. 
We are simple like that. 


It was our own homegrown sorority. 
But without the monetary dues and obligations.
Unless you count the booze that was bought and consumed and the security detail that had to be instituted when the strange Asian guy from across the street wandered over. 
To stare in our windows and take water from our spigot that was located right under our enormous dining room picture window. 
And we were sent scrambling on our hands and knees to lock the doors while we were laughing so hard I'm sure most of us peed in our pants. 
He was really odd. 

Furniture was broken when someone tried to recreate "the lift" from Dirty Dancing. 
Boyfriends became exes and tears were dried on each other's shoulders.
One summer we wrote, directed, and acted in our own original play "Whiskey, Give Me Whiskey."
Which someone, somewhere has on VHS tape I'm sure. 

A friend that I met in college now lives across the street from 916 Hovey. 
With his wife and two boys.
He was a frequent guest of the Hovey House. 
And today Mark posted a photo online today of three mini bulldozers at the ready next to our house. 
Ready to tear into our cache of memories to make way for a new apartment building. 


Maybe that's what the kids want these days. 
Their own space. 
With limited amounts of people in that space. 
Why do you need someone literally sitting on top of you while you're watching tv when you can just text them and FaceTime with them from your own private space instead?
I relish in the memories of my 916 Hovey friends who sat on me, laughed with me, cried with me, stood next to me when Siobhan's boyfriend kicked down the bathroom door. 
All memories that sit strong with me today. 
Friends who have made an impression on me as an adult. 
Friends I met when I was still a kid. 

Last month three of us 916 Hovey ladies met up at Mark's house for a July 3rd cookout.
Rose traveled all the way from Ireland where she now lives to see the old girl again. 
And as we walked across the street to peek inside again, we didn't then realize it would be the last time. 
Rose, Tina, Jen (moi), and Mark. 
I'm glad we posed for one last picture with our friend. 
She had become old. 
Just like us, but even more so. 


Old friends take many forms. 
Walls of love, hope, and strong bonds formed around us as we lived in 916 Hovey. 
Enabling us to become who we are today. 
Everything in our past shapes our future. 
And if those walls could talk...I bet they would be snort laughing. 
And proud of us all...


Sunday, August 10, 2014

The Contract

Some days you wonder if you are alone in the world. 
Your past can seem like such a lost entity. 
The life you had before you met your spouse. 
The life you had before your children were born. 
The wild nights where guys and wine experimented with one another.
But then you remember someone. 
Some people. 
Your college friends. 
Ah, the ladies who knew me when...

My college friends and I had a reunion a few weeks ago in Chicago. 
Three funtastic days together. 
We hadn't been together without our children or spouses in tow in years. 
I don't even remember when we were all together last except for funerals in the past few years. 
Most of them live in the city and so they do see one another quite often. 
But, I'm in central Illinois. 
Another one lives in the northern burbs. 
And one of us lives in Omaha. 
It was due time for us to leave our babes at home with our husbands. 
It was due time for us all to converge at one home and let our hair down. 
Who am I kidding...we don't have hair to let down. 
We had many names in college and one was "The Short Hair Club."
We all still have relatively short hair. 


There are seven of us in all. 
Seven of us who met 25 years ago. 
Seven of us who have shared clothes, secrets, and a few boyfriends. 
Seven of us who have don't always get to talk much to one another, but that didn't seem to matter when we got back together. 
We were missing one member of our group, though. 
She got a pass as she lives in Ireland. 
Only two in our group grew up with sisters. 
This lack of childhood sisterly drama drew us closer, I think. 
An invisible contract was signed during college. 
A contract that said "through thick and thin we shall stand together. Always"
When one of us got upset with someone about, who knows what, a voice amongst the group would loudly declare "ah, but you signed the contract!"  
And you would resign yourself to this phantom truth. 

During our reunion we shared old stories. 
We giggled. 
We guffawed. 
We talked about sex. 
We talked about food. 
We peed in our pants a little. 


We all brought photos to share. 
College photos. 
Life after photos. 
Upon graduation, we all converged on the city of Chicago and some of us lived together. 
We were always with one another and even vacationed together. 
New Orleans, Miami, the crazy camping trip we took to Wisconsin. 
There was so much photographic evidence of the lives we had had.  
Our former thinner selves. 
Lives before children. 
Lives before careers. 
Lives lived with so much abandon. 


I wouldn't trade these ladies for anything. 
They know me. 
I know them. 
We still tell secrets to one another. 
We love one another dearly. 
They were all there 200% for me and my family when Zoe was diagnosed with leukemia. 

So, we went out to eat at fancy restaurants that were absent of children's menus. 


We drank giant martinis. 
We stayed up past 10:00. 
We had a blast. 


And I remembered that I wasn't alone. 
I'll never be alone. 
My past will always live on with these women. 
And I can't wait to make future memories with them all. 
Until we are drooly, gray, and pushing each other in wheelchairs. 
My friends. 
Forever. 



Thursday, May 8, 2014

Monday-Wednesday

It was super warm on Monday and the chicks were out sunning themselves in their outdoor run. 
It was funny to see them sprawled out, wings opened up and legs stretched out. 


Chad found this skull in our side yard. 
Along with another skull of a different animal. 
It's odd to find two skulls in the same area. 
We aren't sure what this one is. 
The front teeth are dark and very rodent like. 


Wednesday, Zoe's 3rd grade class took a field trip to Springfield. 
A mom friend of mine who went sent me this picture of her daughter with Zoe. 
They are great friends!
Both very smart and caring young ladies. 


Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Friends Everywhere

Friday. 
The twins were found lounging on Gigi's bed. 
Firecracker is on the left and Jumper is the big guy. 
They often cuddle together like this. 
So darn cute!


Saturday. 
Gigi's friend Ella came over to see our baby chicks and to play. 
They get along famously and her mom said she's going to bring her by more as the weather gets warmer. 
So they can run and play in the good ol' outdoors!


Sunday we went to our friends' new home in Normal. 
I went to college in Normal. 
Meet these boys' father in Normal. 
It's so sweet to see my kids and his kids as friends now. 
We went to lunch at an Illinois State institution, Avanti's. 
It was a beautiful day so we went on a walk to get ice cream and to enjoy the sunshine which no one has seen in 6 months!
We walked through the campus. 
Saw the old and new of my alma mater. 
It was really fun. 


I didn't take any pictures Monday. 
Oops. 
But yesterday (Tuesday) the girls and I went to our local zoo. 
It opened for the season and we saw our friends, the wolves and the penguins and the camels and the zebras and the list goes on and on and on. 
Gigi wanted to swing in the baby swing at the playground. 
Ummm, I think she's too big. 
And long. 
Zoe talked to Tilly the wolf. 
Tilly is the alpha wolf of her pack and sometimes the girls can get her to howl. 






Tuesday, March 25, 2014

A Birthday Reminder

Birthdays. 
When you're a kid...so exciting!
Balloons!
Cake!
Friends!
The PRESENTS!
When you're an adult. 
Boring. 
At least at my house. 
Which is fine with me. 
I don't need to be reminded that I'm one year closer to "the home."
A year closer to glucosamine pills. 
A year closer to bifocals. 
A year closer to dementia. 
Okay, so maybe a few of those things have already happened. 
Who am I kidding, I'm no spring chicken. 
I'm more like a middle aged hen. 
Grumpy and molting on a regular basis. 
Now, I've heard about adults who do have large birthday celebrations. 
Even seen the photographic evidence on Facebook. 
I don't think those people have kids. 
Or if they do, the kids are grown ups themselves now. 
When you have kids, there's no money left for you to use to celebrate 'cause you spent it all on the dang kids. 

When I was due to turn 40, I had a plan. 
I wanted to take a cruise with my two oldest friends who would also be turning 40 in the same month as myself. 
Just think, cruising on the open ocean. 
Fruity drink in hand as we lay around the pool. 
We would get up whenever we felt like it. 
Not at the time the minions were demanding their chocolate milk. 
We would get massages by (hopefully) hunky men who resembled John Stamos. 
Sigh. 
It didn't happen. 
I spent my 40th birthday in my house. 
Eating Monicals pizza at my own dining room table. 
My husband designed me a cake made entirely of Hostess Ding Dongs. 
It was me, my husband, my two kids, and my parents. 
My daughter's cancer diagnosis and subsequent chemotherapy regime made her too susceptible to germs. 
She couldn't leave the house. 
I couldn't go in a cruise if my child was fighting for her life. 
I couldn't even go to a restaurant with her on that day. 
I was another year older and she was fighting the biggest brawl she had ever faced. 
So we celebrated low key. 

She's all better now. 
And I'm about to turn 43. 
Tomorrow. 
I am hoping to take that cruise next year. 
The ocean, the sun, the all inclusive buffet, girlfriend chit chat, and the knowledge that my daughter is alive and well. 
To celebrate another birthday herself. 
Birthdays. 
Another day. 
Another year. 
Another chance...

 

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Friends-Near and Far

I met some friends for breakfast today and while we may only meet up once every month or so, it's a well needed meet up that my life craves. 
I've also been meeting another friend for lunch as often as we can. 
She only has an hour to eat because she's a working mom, so we stuff in as much talk as we can...our kids, our husbands, family, friends, general gossip...while stuffing our mouths with some fabulous food. 
It's been hard to find people that I can really connect with. 
Everyone seems so busy with their own kids and hectic schedules. 
But, if you really mean to connect with someone else you need to make an effort. 
And the ladies I've been meeting up with seem to understand this and we all make an effort. 
And I am really thankful for them. 
Being a stay at home mom can be isolating. 
Especially in the winter. 

My "old" friends all live far away. 
Old as in, we have known one another for 20 plus years. 
One friend I have had for 38 years. 
Holy shit!
I think we went to pre-school together, but I don't remember that, so I'm starting in kindergarten. 
I have photographic evidence of that. 
My 38 years friend and I text quite often. 
She's someone I can always find time for as she always finds time for me. 
And she lives in Texas. 
Where everything is big, but a friendship is held tight and close and miles mean nothing. 

I recently found out that one of my college friends hurt herself. 
As in "broken bones within her body" hurt. 
That totally sucks. 
But what sucked even more was that I didn't know. 
For 2 weeks!
What the?!
Someone dropped the ball there and I don't mean the friend who broke herself. 
I may live hours away from my northern Illinois friends but I still care what happens to them. 
I still care when bones are broken or hearts are broken or illness comes knocking. 
I may not be able to rush them to the doctor or drop dinner off. 
I really wish I could. 
But I can lend them an ear. 
My ear who will hear all of the pain they are enduring and for them to know they aren't alone. 
I know how important that is. 
I've been to a bad place with my daughter's illness and I'm so very thankful for the supportive ears and hearts my friends reached out to me with. 
I'm glad I sent a text to my friend telling her about the new book I got. 
Because of that random text she told me she was injured. 
And a care package is on it's way to her. 
Because she's my friend. 
And we all need good friends...


Monday, December 30, 2013

Year End Review

2013 is coming to an end. 
Here's our family end of the year review. 
In pictures. 
The girls bought three hermit crabs in January.  Today, there are two. 
 
Then they tried roller skating...

We now have an 8 year old and a 5 year old. 

And a 3rd grader and a second-year pre-schooler. 




We met Illinois State Senator Manar and the Governor of Illinois, Pat Quinn.


Zoe got her ears pierced. 




Zoe cut the ribbon (again!) at the Midwest Charity Horse Show representing Camp COCO.
And she had a great time at her 3rd year of camp.


We went to a hockey game in Chicago. 


And to Ohio where the girls got to pal around with their cousins, Julie and Hunter, whom they had never met! 


We went to Hannibal, MO. 


And to Chicago, again. 


Zoe had doctor appointments and one more surgery. 


There were dance classes, piano lessons, carnival rides, and a trip to learn about Abraham Lincoln's life. 




Zoe and Grandma sewed. 


And we swam in our pool. 


As well as took swimming lessons at the public cement pond. 


We canoodled with our pets. 


And we canoodled with our cousins. 


We had family gatherings. 


We laughed with friends.



And Grandpa drove the girls in a parade.  




We celebrated holidays.






And said goodbye to my mom's brother, Uncle Jeff. 


We enjoyed a big snowfall in December. 


And are preparing for the spring. 


 
We have made much progress with our license plate campaign. 

We are excited to see what happens for us in 2014!