Sometimes I put on my big girl pants.
I know I'm of the age for big girl pants because of my boobs.
It's going to get weird, just stay with me...
My boobs are now of an age where they need to be arranged once the bra goes on.
Things need to be redirected towards the front.
Ladies, you know what I mean, right?
Don't go around saying "what on earth is she talking about?" because you are only fooling yourself and have yet to put on your big girl pants.
What I am saying is that I've matured beyond the stage of perky boobs to being old enough to have gained knowledge, experience, and yes, saggy boobs.
I have had children, the boobs have feed these children, I've had stress and gravity for 41 years on this body and I can now proudly say, I Wear Big Girl Pants Everyday!
When wearing my big girl pants I can say...
"my kids are NOT going to school anymore because there is a stomach virus going around and I ain't gonna let the immune compromised one get sick in the 11th hour!"
"go ahead, send my bills to collections because I haven't paid them! Collection offices don't scare me, I've had a child with cancer!"
"you best not park your car that close to my car, lady!"
"No, I can not volunteer at school for the hot dog lunch/secret santa shop/field trip chaperone because I volunteer at registration and the book fair every year. Those are my things and I can do no more."
I will also say the following when I am wearing my big girl pants...
"Here's a dollar Mr. Homeless Man Missing Your Legs...I am very sorry for your circumstance and here is a smile for you."
"What can I do to help with the childhood cancer fundraising?"
"Of course I'll be helping out with the charity dance recital this year...thank you for supporting us."
"Thanks to everyone who reads this blog especially since I decided to do this "blog a day" thing."
"Thank you from the bottom of my heart and from my family for everything YOU have done for us these past two years." You know who you are...
"Would you like my grocery cart or help putting those heavy packages into your car ma'am?"
Now come one ladies, fix your boobs and declare "I, too, am wearing my big girl pants!"
Guys, I don't know what you will fix (afraid to ask) but you can also pull up your britches and put on your big boy pants.
Maybe you can say "No, I can NOT work those extra hours because spending time with my family is more important to me!" Or
"Why Yes, dear, I WILL put those Christmas lights on the roof today even though it's cold and windy! I will do it for the family!"
(these male references are general and should not be directed at the author's husband.)