Monday, October 1, 2012

Amazing Acronym

I don't know who came up with the acronym WTF, but the person is a GENIUS! F*•k is my favorite curse word and sometimes just my favorite word, much to my mother's dismay.
It's so much easier to say WTF and I do often. Such as...

I bought Cookie Crisp cereal for the kids to eat because it rocks and it's cookies for breakfast and they don't like it. They prefer the mini shredded wheat. WTF!

I gave the horse a bath Saturday because she was attracting flies since she rolls in her own crap and when I was done she ran away in all a huff and because she's a super dork she fell in the dirt and was a post-bath mess. WTF!

The walnuts fall out of the trees at this time of year like mad! You need a hard hat to walk through the yard. It makes getting shit on your head by a bird seem like a walk in a park (as long as it's a park without walnut trees). WTF!

I still haven't won a contest from PW.

Why don't I look like I did in 1995 when I went to Miami and wore a string bikini? I wore that thing very well, too.  WTF!

I still haven't found a good French program for the girls to learn French. I guess I could sign them up for something at the University. I would like to learn, too. I guess we won't be moving to Paris just yet. WTF!

The kitchen garbage can had become a Hazmat scene so I threw it out. I haven't found one I like yet, so I've just put a smaller one under the kitchen island (which is just another dining table that's in the middle of the kitchen) and it doesn't have a lid on it. I find I am constantly screaming at these good for nothing, ungrateful, scavengers called dogs that we have to stay out of the damn garbage can! How many times do I have to say "get out of the damn garbage!" to these mutts? I found myself saying to Lola today "yo bitch! I'm sitten right here and I see you gettin' in the can!"  My life has evolved to bitch yelling at the dog...sigh. WTF!

Gigi knocked my glasses off of my nightstand yesterday and then proceeded to step on them.  I'm this close to looking like Spaz from Meatballs.  WTF!  

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