A Sweeping Choice

As I've gotten older and as I've had to hold my heart way down deep inside when my daughter got sick, I've started to learn that my life is just that, MY life. 

I don't need affirmation from others in how I attack each day that I wake up.

Or maybe I don't want to attack anything some days. 

And that's okay. 

A few of my very wise girlfriends recently posted some articles on FB about just this idea. 

The idea that who we want to be and what we want to do on this planet is OUR choice. 

Not family members, not other moms, not society as a whole. 

My choice. 

I choose to be a stay at home mom. 

I've worked hard in the past before my kids were born. 

Now they are my job. 

My youngest will be in school full time in the fall and it's been suggested that I go out into the world to work again. 

I do work, though. 

At home. 

We don't have a small suburban yard. 

We don't have one cat to feed. 

We have a few acres and 22 pets. 

22 pets!

We have lived on one income for the past 9 years. 

And 2 1/2 of those involved taking care of a very sick child who required numerous hospital visits and expensive trips to the pharmacy. 

And we have survived. 

We are whole. 

I may not spend money the way you spend money. 

And that's okay. 

What has happened is this...

I have learned to "be." 

To be...

Content with what we have. 

Thankful for our love, not our stuff. 

Okay with who I am. 

Which is a mom who's always available to my girls. 

If they are sick, I'm here.  

I'm the first face they see at 3:00 when the hardships of school are over. 

I'm the caretaker of a pony and goats and cats and dogs and chickens. 

Who need attention everyday as well. 

This is who I am. 

A 43 year old mother who waters her garden, bakes bread for dinner, advocates for childhood cancer awareness, and sweeps the floors with a good ol' broom. 

And I also am a 43 year old woman who enjoys putzing around at the library for something to stimulate my imagination.

Who can proudly say my husband is my best friend. 

Who smiles every time I hear his laugh. 

Who gets a kick out of planning our family's next travel adventure. 

I make sure to make time for girlfriend lunch dates and I like to photograph the everyday moments at hand. 

This is me. 

And I'm okay with that.