Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Baking and Blogging

Part 2 of 2 in a series titled "Hobbies" from my
blog group Homesteaders and Homeschoolers

What is a hobby?
It's defined as...
  • : a pursuit outside one's 
  • regular occupation 
  • engaged in especially 
  • for relaxation. 

My current occupation, one I've had since 2005, is child rearer/household president/pet caretaker/payer of the bills. 
I enjoy my position. 
It can become a bit monotonous at times, but overall it's been a good run.
In 2010 another job title was handed to me. 
I became a momcologist. 
The job description is as follows: mother of a child with cancer who does research into drugs and their effects, who becomes a pharmacist, nurse, physical therapist, homeschooler at times, 2am chauffeur to the hospital, advocate, all while still pouring chocolate milk into little cups, planning birthday parties, and potty training. 
On top of all of my responsibilities, I have tried to keep myself intact.
To not fold under pressure. 
And to keep my mind off of the gloom that can surround you when cancer comes into the daily going-ons of life. 
So I bake.

And I blog. 

I prefer to bake over cooking because cooking can be too lenient sometimes. 
I need structure.
I need lists. 
I need precision when things around me are shaky. 
I need exact measurements and 90% of the time the end product will be just as I had planned. 
I can tweak it here and there. 
I do adore putting chocolate chips into almost everything even if the recipe doesn't call for it. 
I make pies. 
Sweet tasting breads. 
As well as pizza dough. 
Pot pie topping. 
Savory breads. 

And I blog. 
It was the summer of 2010 and I thought, I'll try this blogging thing. 
It can't be too hard. 
I'll share what's going on in my life, at the farm. 
I'll showcase my kids, who were 5 and 1 1/2 years old at the time. 
I'll share my story, whatever that was. 
Our hopes and dreams for our daughters.
Then leukemia came.
And my writing focus changed.
I've been able to share the turmoil cancer has brought to our family. 
It's cathartic in a way. 
But, I'll tell you one thing...I haven't said MOST of what it's like to have a child go through cancer treatments. 
I'm not going to let the horrors that flow through my daughter's life become a front page story. 
I have never shown the pictures of her after surgery. 
Or seconds before she gets radiation to her brain. 
I've never written about the questions she asked us about life and death or what we had to tell her in order for her to take the medicine the doctor sent home with her. 
No parent should have to say what we had to say. 
I've never written fully about the pain that sits deep down in my gut, in my whole being. 
But I do write about her life. 
And how happy we are that she still has hers. 
Hopes and dreams continue in my writing. 
I still wonder if anyone but my mom is reading, though. 
Then I go eat a brownie...

1 comment:

  1. I'm reading! I'm reading! Love the stars on the pie. I admire your striving for strength and positive attitude in the darkest times of life. I like you! ;)