Growing Up

Zoe seems so determined by her idea of what she wants to be when she grows up.
If anyone, anywhere asks her that proverbial childhood question, she quickly responds with "an artist."
She's sure.
I've told her about art historians.
The words "art historian" seem to conjure up ideas in my head of job stability.
There will always be a need for people to tell others about art.

When I was a child and anyone asked me that ages old question I would respond with "ballerina or veterinarian."
I loved animals more than myself and I always took dance class.
No sports, no drama class, I couldn't draw a circle without one side going all lumpy, but I could dance.
So when I entered college and didn't know what to major in, I decided that veterinary school would be too hard (because of the math. I am horrible at math.), but that I could dance.
So I did.
And ended up with a Bachelor's of Science Degree in Commercial Studio Dance.
What a crack-pot idea that was.
But with my experiences in the college dance world I was able to take a trip to NYC (when I finnegaled my way into the Theatre and Art Department's annual trip which is ONLY for the aforementioned theatre and art students, not the dancers) and I got to dance at The Kennedy Center in Washington D.C.
The Kennedy Center!
It's my dancing history pride and joy moment.
But, I moved to Chicago and started teaching dance and could only find a job in the burbs teaching snooty girls who didn't want to be there.
So I quit.
And entered the veterinary world.
I was hired (for reasons I still don't get) at a brand new clinic in the South Loop and there I was taught everything I wanted and needed to know about being a veterinary technician.
Because of that I met my now husband and was a veterinary technician for almost 15 years.
And a great time it was.
So, I guess I did get to be what I wanted when I grew up.
Kind of.

Then I had babies and I've been solely taking care of them since they popped out of me.
I thought briefly of becoming a midwife.
That probably stemmed from the fact that I was always watching "A Baby Story" on TLC.
Especially since I was breastfeeding Gigi for 12 months.
And breastfeeding for that long AND watching TLC shows makes a lady lose her mind.
Then one got cancer.
She was diagnosed exactly one day before I was to re-enter the dance world.
I was going to start teaching a class where the girls' dance.
But, that couldn't happen.
My next stage in life was to be inundated with leukemia information.
Chemo do's and dont's.
I was on fever patrol (still am actually) and became best friends with hand sanitizer.
Not what I planned for my life.
Certainly not what I planned for my child.

I now wonder what I am going to do with the rest of my life.
I don't really want to teach dance.
I don't want to be attacked by dogs and cats.
I don't want to go to school again unless I'm taking a class I really want to take (like when I took a class on bees a few years ago.)
It's hard to be this age and not know the answer to the "what do you want to be?" question.
I like photography.
I like baking.
I like animal husbandry (I'm going to get chickens sometime soon.)
I like helping the childhood cancer world.
Do others have problems with this?
Do you know what you want to be when you grow up?
If you figure things out for yourself give me a ring and let me know how you came to that conclusion.
Growing up is a tough business.