In front of fireplace.
Seating positions are (left to right) Chad, me, Zoe
End table holding numerous magazines and my iPhone at right end of couch, nearest Zoe.
Chad -"hey, I heard Sid's wife died. Sandy said it was in the newspaper."
Me- "let me grab my phone to check the H&R app and the obituaries."
Leaning over Zoe to get the phone. She's really into RuPaul's Drag Race and not into Chad and I's conversation.
Zoe- "are you going to text dirty?"
Zoe- "are you going to text dirty now?"
Me- "Who told you about that?! What are you learning at that school playground after lunch?!"
This last phrase was screeched out in a high pitched warble sounding similar to an oId woman yelling at the busboy because she thought he was the waiter ignoring her.
I was beyond words.
I also kept thinking, but didn't say so, "why would I be texting dirty if your father was right next to me? I can just talk dirty in his ear."
Then Chad said the answer to the riddle I was under attack by.
"Mark. She wants to know if you are going to text Mark."
Dirty equals my friend from high school Mark.
It's his nickname.
She was asking if I was going to text him.
If I was going to text Dirty.
We were meeting up with him in Springfield the following day.
Chad and I had tears flowing from the laughter of my stupidity.
Me- "I thought you were talking about sexting!"
Zoe- "What's that?"