Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Nightmare Day

The day after Labor Day in 2010.
I won't forget it.
I won't forget that I had already taken Zoe to school and when I called the pediatrician hoping for an appointment later in the day, they asked to see her right away after hearing her symptoms.
Symptoms being lethargy, large dark bruises, headaches, vomiting.
I won't forget the pediatrician sitting next to me in the examining room looking worried, but not saying much.
He never sat next to me like that before.
I won't forget how he asked his associate to come in and look at Zoe.
How he told me that I shouldn't worry that he was doing that.
But I worried. 
I won't forget going to the lab at the hospital across the street from the pediatrician's office. 
How my mom met me there to take Gigi home and how Chad came to help me hold Zoe's hand.
I won't forget how they told us to come back around 3:30.
I won't forget how they called me about 45 minutes later and told me to come right back...it was nowhere near 3:30.
I won't forget that Zoe was wearing a pink tiered skirt.  
Hot pink.
I won't forget calling my cousin as I was leaving the doctor's office the first time and saying to her  ..."what if it's leukemia?"
How would I know that?
I won't forget the stunning effect that a cancer diagnosis brings.
I won't forget that day for the rest of my life.
How it changed the rest of our lives. 
So many lives changed.
From one word.
And it's the reason I do what I do now.
Raise awareness and funds for research.
Because as heartbreaking as that day was for us, it's happening to other kids and moms and dads somewhere else. 
Right now at this exact moment.
They are having their nightmare day.
It's the least that I can do...raise awareness.
Awareness that you aren't alone.
Awareness that it can happen to anyone at anytime.
And that you must go on and not let the cancer win.
You must go on...

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