Being a mother is not for the faint of heart.
You see things you never thought you'd see.
And you do things you never thought you'd do.
The smells you'll endure.
The things you'll see that will make you want to burn your eyes out of your head.
But then you'll remember that it's now embedded in your brain, so the eye burning will only be really, really painful.
So, you nix that idea.
Words will come out of your mouth that you never, in your wildest dreams, thought would exit your body.
"NO, you may not write your name on your forehead with permanent marker before you go to school."
"YES, the dog has a penis because he's a boy like dad, but we aren't going to compare them in the living room!"
Willingly catch vomit in your hands in a crowded restaurant...I've done that.
Spray your kid with a hose when she wanders around the side of the house nude and covered in a not-so mysterious brown substance...I've done that.
Hide your daughter's pillow because it's covered in her own hair that's coming out because she has cancer and you don't want her to be upset by seeing it...unfortunately, I've done that.
All of these things makes you a stronger person.
All of these things have made me a stronger mom.
Sometimes I feel like Supermom.
And the other day I got to use my Supermom powers to save the day.
Well, I saved the frozen yogurt.
Gigi would eat frozen yogurt covered in candy and whipped cream everyday if we let her.
Now, we don't let this happen.
But, we do seem to visit one of our local frozen yogurt shops quite often in the summer.
We've even been known to drive over there and eat frozen yogurt for lunch or dinner.
If you're unfamiliar with a 21st century frozen yogurt shop it's like this...
there are at least a dozen different varieties of frozen yogurt, sorbet, or gelato that you can fill all on your own into a very large cup.
The flavors are varied and can be as simple as watermelon to as complex as sea salt caramel.
Once your cup is filled with one or twelve different flavors (yes, some people get a little bit of every available flavor!) you move on to the toppings bar.
Where you then fill your frozen yogurt/sorbet/gelato mix with toppings ranging from crushed cookies, cereal, and gummi bears to shredded coconut, maraschino cherries, and (at our yogurt shop) this little colored ball called a boba ball that bursts a fruity flavor in your mouth once you bite into it.
Then you take your creation to the cashier where it's weighed and you pay a certain price for each ounce it weighs.
Our favorite shops does a $4 or $5 Fill A Cup Day which is more economical for us because the youngest and smallest person in our group always makes the largest and heaviest cup of yogurt with toppings.
She may be small, but never does anything small.
Last week we were at our fav yogurt place when my Supermom powers quietly showed up.
No one else in my family noticed my Supermom act.
But the guy weighing the yogurt did.
You see, Gigi had filled her cup with four flavors of frozen yogurt and, as it usually is, it was overflowing with gummy worms, boba balls, and whipped cream.
There's a long counter in front of the toppings bar and she was suddenly entranced by the TV screen on the other side of the shop because The Disney Channel was on.
Her arm began sliding her ginormous cup of sweetness down the counter as her eyes were locked into a green platypus named Perry who wears a fedora that was on the TV.
I was at the scale waiting for her weigh-in when I noticed that her cup was not sliding down
the counter as it should.
the counter as it should.
She was sliding it at an angle because she wasn't looking and it began to slide right off of the counter.
It was counterless for a millisecond.
Maybe it was a ittybittysecond.
I jumped into action and hit it with my hand to get the cup (that was about to cost me ten buckaroos) back onto the counter before it became a splatty mess on the floor.
It all took a total of .045 seconds for me to save the day.
Well, to save the day for the yogurt guy who would have had to clean up that mess once it hit the floor.
Gigi looked at me with surprise.
The yogurt guy looked at me with surprise.
Gigi didn't really blink an eye at my save.
She moved her yogurt to the scale, grabbed a spoon, then skipped to the neon green couch to sit with her yogurt to watch the mesmerizing show with the pointy headed kids who own the green platypus in the hat.
The yogurt guy was still looking at the whole situation with his mouth gaping open and large dilated pupils.
He squeaked out "wow, nice save."
I gave him a wink and said "I'm a mom."
And skipped over to the green couch...