Monday, July 7, 2014

Read The ENTIRE Book!

When I was pregnant with my first child, I read all of the books. 
Books that told me what I could expect as the baby grew within my own body. 
What changes I could expect. 
When to call the doctor when my inexperienced husband and I suspected that labour had commenced. 
I was prepared. 
I was ready, even though I was scared. 
Then I had an appointment with my obstetrician about 3 weeks prior to my due date. 
And my world was blown apart. 
Because the person growing inside my body hadn't read the books!
The person growing inside was living in my uterus upside down. 
And so I was going to need a cesarean section. 
But, I hadn't read that chapter in the books!
In fact, I had purposely skipped those chapters. 
I went right from...your mucous plug has fallen the doctor will ask you to push out the placenta. 
So, I got the books back out and read the chapters I had completely turned my back on. 
I memorized the c-section chapter and tried to erase all things to deal with pushing and screaming. 
And I learned some things. 
But, I didn't learn my lesson. 

We got eight chicks from the farm store in March. 
They were 2 days old. 
We waited and waited until they had pullets to choose from. 
Pullets are chicks that have been sexed by the hatchery and will be hens when they are adults. 
Hens who will lay eggs and provide my family with protein filled frittatas and egg salad sandwiches.  
I bought chicken books. 
I learned when to expect those first eggs. 
I learned about roosts and grit and pasty butt. 
But, I did it again. 
I skipped a chapter. 
The chapter on roosters. 
Because one of those pullets 
Who is becoming a hen. 
It's a rooster. 
Wheezy is a he. 

How do we know it's a rooster and not a hen, you ask?
Because it's huge in comparison to the others. 
And it has a larger and darker red, wiggly thing on its head. 
And it's tail feathers are larger and are starting to sprout iridescent colors. 
Because roosters are bigger and prettier and radiant. 
They are the drag queens of the chicken world. 

And two days ago, it made a feeble attempt to crow.
It sounded as if an egg was stuck in his throat. 
But, it was his first attempt. 
Chapter 5 in my chicken book states that roosters will usually begin crowing at 4-5 months. 
And our hens are 4 months old. 
Oh yes, and our rooster. 
I had skipped chapter 5. 
When will I learn my lesson?

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