Saturday, June 21, 2014

Did You Ever?

Did you ever...

Get a spider bite on your arm that caused your arm to swell up and get all hot and itchy and you're sure that spider babies are brewing right under your skin to emerge in the middle of the night to eat your face?
No?
You are damn lucky then. 

Lose a pet then get a new pet a week later then lose the new pet in five days?
Lose as in death. 
No?
Again, you're lucky. 

Vow to not complain about the heat of summer because the past winter was so wretchedly cold that you dreamed on a daily basis of sitting outside sweating under your boobs?
No?
I did. 
And I love my boob sweat. 
Well, not like "love and I want to get married", but it's not a hate thing. 

Plan a trip to Disney and then start watching all of the movies that are based on rides there or that have characters that your kids will meet there so you can get all giggly and excited about your trip that doesn't happen for 75 days?
No?
I watched Pirates of The Carribean and Winnie The Pooh in one day. 
Tomorrow is Toy Story, Pocohantas, and Snow White. 
So. 
Many. 
To. 
Watch. 

Get drunk on cotton candy?
I think my kid did. 




1 comment: