Midlife Brownies

When is midlife?

Fifty?

That's seven years away. 

Which is almost a decade away. 

Which to my kids, that's like 200 years away. 

Then why is all of this midlife stuff happening before I'm even forty-five?

My neck is getting gobbly. 

My eyes need two lenses to see from behind my glasses. 

I sleep erratically at night. 

I sweat more. 

Wait!

Is that menopause?

Peri-menopause?

Damn, women have to deal with both midlife issues AND menopause!

I forgot about the menopause thing. 

Double damn!

My husband only has the midlife crisis thing to deal with. 

He wanted a motorcycle last year. 

And older road bike that would make him look uber cool. 

A big departure from his Trek bicycle. 

He said that urge is over.

Maybe his testosterone will begin to wane. 

Probably not.  

But, my eyes are still unfocused, I'm still using more deodorant than I did in my third trimester of my second pregnancy, and I want a women's shed to steal away to and ponder life and the existence of all of us in it. 

Or just a place to hide in to eat brownies in secret...