Friday, October 12, 2012

Of Smoke And Spiders

(In light of my recent spider in the car encounter that was mentioned on FB, I've started thinking about things that scare me...)

From the Greek phobos
Defined by Webster's as "an irrational, excessive, and persistent fear of some particular thing or situation."  
I don't know if I really have any true phobias. 
I don't become frozen in place if something I don't like happens by.
But I certainly do have things that scare me.
Make me shudder.
Make me frightened.
Make me fearful.

I do not like spiders.
Spiders outside are okay.
I guess.
I can get somewhat close to them and look at them.
But only very quickly.
If there is a spider in my house, forget about it.
Or in the car...shudder.
Being in an enclosed area, nowhere to run. 
Spider sitting there watching and waiting and planning.
It's too much.

Scary movies.
I used to love scary movies.
But as I've gotten older I can't do it.
I think the movies have gotten darker, more sinister.
There seem to be more children being affected by mean spirits in the movies.
Whatever happened to Leatherface?  Mike Meyers?
I could deal with them.
They wore masks and looked a bit ridiculous. 
Freddy Krueger did and still does scare the bajeebers out of me, though.
But now it's demons stealing your children away if you see them on a old film or in the window pane.
Unknown entities and poltergeists hiding in your house and taking over your body and it's only caught on a hidden camera.
I will watch the ghost shows on cable TV, but only if Chad is with me.
If he decides to go to bed, I'm going to bed.
I won't then go into the kitchen area of the house.
Too far away and too dark.
The dogs need to go outside?
Forget about it.
I'm not opening the door. 
I always feel that there could be someone or something looking at me through a window.

Being old and alone and with no money or love.
That fear is pathetic and sad and I'm not going to elaborate.
But I think everyone has this fear, right?

If I am outside and I smell smoke, which happens a lot out in the country, I immediately think my house is on fire.
I will walk all over the place looking for the smoke or flames.
Is it shooting out of the basement?
Or is it coming out of the fireplace?
The fireplace thing is totally irrational because I had the chimney guy come out when we moved here in 2007 and he said "DO NOT USE THIS FIREPLACE until you get $2000-3000 worth of work done on it."  
Hence, there's never a fire in the fireplace.
Hasn't been for 33 years.
But I look anyway.
Then I look in the barn.
Is the hay loft blazing?
Are the goats running out bleating cause there's a fire in the barn?   
It's just someone somewhere in the country burning branches and leaves and it's wafting to my house.
Scaring the poops out of me.    

I need some Depends in my life I think...


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