Thursday, January 12, 2012


It's sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.
~Brigitte Bardot

I was in the bathroom the other morning trying to get myself ready for something. 
Probably just a trip to the store or the post office.  Not much else happens for me. 
When I looked closely at my right eye in the mirror and found something that flabbergasted me.  Made me step back in astonishment and then quickly back to the mirror to reevaluate what I had seen.  It had to have been a mistake.  The way the light was hitting me.  Anything but what I had seen. 
But alas it was right there. 
Screaming at me...a gray eyelash! 
I didn't even know those existed on people! 
I've seen men with gray eyebrow hairs that jut out at odd angles and wads of gray hair shooting out from their ears, but I've never seen a woman with gray eyelashes. 
Or I guess I've never noticed before and thought to myself if I had noticed, "what lovely blonde eyelashes she has next to all of those wrinkles."   
I quickly threw on some BLACK mascara, had a silent crying outburst deep down inside myself, and went on with my day.
But I keep thinking about it.  
That lone gray eyelash.
Upper lid.
Three hairs from the edge on the right.

Then I did some Wii dancing.
Zoe got Just Dance for Kids after Christmas.
I tweaked my knee dancing to Mah Na Mah Na.
What's going to happen next?

It started with my eyes.  
As discussed in an earlier blog, I believe I need bifocals.
Then the eyelash.
Then the knee.

Forty one years of age will hit me in March.
Some days I feel 26 internally.
Full of life and energy.
Other days not so much.
Other days I'm tired.
Feeling old.
Winter I believe plays a big part into that feeling.
I like being outdoors and when it's cold and blowing snow, like today, I don't get out as much and the sun is hidden and I feel as dead as the trees in my yard look.

BUT, this is not the attitude to have.
Yes, I'm not 115 pounds like I was in college (man, those were the days!)
Yes, my muscles are not as toned as they once were.
Yes, it's hard to exercise when you share your day with a 3 year old.
But, I must make amends with myself.
To drink more water, get my cholesterol checked and a mammogram done.
To not give up on myself since I do have young kids.
And I need to be here for them in a healthy way.
In a strong manner.
To not worry about my age and just live.
Maybe I should set an example that age is not about covering the gray hairs on my head, but about embracing my knowledge of this life I've already lived.
Yeah right!
I think I need to get to Target for some more dye.
Now, where's my mascara... 

We turn not older with years, but newer every day.
~Emily Dickinson

No comments:

Post a Comment