Tired

My heart is a bit heavy for Zoe right now. She has injured her ankle. The same foot that she injured a toe on during the summer of 2010. The summer directly before her diagnosis. That summer she had to wear one of those boots that straps to her foot and leg and could knock a person out if hit unknowingly with it from behind in a dark and smelly alley.

Yesterday she spent 10 minutes at a friend's birthday party before she had hurt herself on her friend's trampoline (for the record, I LOATHE those monstrous trampolines and have forbid them to be bought for our home, but I am really going to be THAT mom who yells to her daughter to "stay off that horrible trampoline!" as I'm driving away? I couldn't do it), she just bounced four times. Slipped a bit and she was done.

I called her oncologist. He reminded me that her bones are more prone to fracture since they have "leeched all that is good from her bones." If it was still painful upon waking in the morning, it would need an x-ray.

So, today we spent a ridiculous amount of time at the pediatrician's office, an imaging center to get an MRI (nothing but the best for Zoe!) and home again. Waiting for calls from the pediatrician and of course, the oncologist's office. We can't do anything without hearing from the oncologist. I had decided to take her to her pediatrician today for a few reasons...
1. It's in town, 15 minutes from home.
2. Dr. Brooks is totally cool and he has helped save our daughter because of his quick thinking and diagnosing.
3. We haven't seen him in a while and he's in town.
4. I didn't want to drive to Springfield.

Guess where we are going tomorrow at 2:00? Fractured-ankle-growth-plate. Geesh. I can't seem to keep this kid away from Springfield and it's doctors.

I feel so bad for her. She's going to have to wear yet another apparatus on her leg. She's not going to be able to run. She's not going to be able to dance. She's not going to be allowed to be like the other kids. She was just starting to be like other kids. Her hair is back and it's beautiful. She does get called "buddy" and "sir" on occasion by farsighted yahoos. She just looks at me with that look of annoyance and more annoyance.

She's upset that she will be hobbled for Halloween. She's upset that things keep happening to her. She's tired and so am I. Tired of sickness and doctors. Tired of being tired. I have had to literally carry her around everywhere these past two days because she's not to put weight on her foot.

I wonder why things keep happening to her. She's a good kid. Never does anything wrong. Polite and smart and kind. It tires me to think of it. I'll just have to keep on keepin' on and hope that things will start to look up for her. She deserves as much.