I Swear...

I swear...

if I could lose the fat pounds off of my body as easily as I lose the hairs out of my head in the shower every day I would easily have been at or beyond my ideal weight eons ago!

I swear...

if one more person parks their car at the conservation parking lot next to my house and then decides to not walk into the woods with everyone else, but instead decides to walk on the "path" around my yard, I'm going to turn into a Hatfield or a McCoy and guns will be a'blazin!   

I swear...

I don't even own a gun. 
Really. 

I swear...

if one more person says, "Zoe's hair looks really good/or thick/or so long." I will have to say to them "we both know it's none of those things so just shut it."   

I swear...

a lot.

I swear...

I could drink a frozen strawberry lemonade from McD's every day of my life.
Which would not help with the fat pounds.
Damn.

I swear...

If the smelly, ugly, black tomcat that belongs to our neighbor with the cows doesn't stay in his own yard and if he doesn't stop trying to kill our kittens then the guns will be a'blazin' again!

I swear...

I still don't own a gun.
But I do know how to throw a rock.