Hangin' On To Hope

2010 is winding down and I am excited to see what the new year brings for our family. I'm sure it will bring some ups and unfortunately, some downs as well...

Chemotherapy and all of it's side effects will be prominent in 2011 for Zoe. It seems to be a never-ending onslaught of drugs for a tiny little body to have to handle. The monster under the bed for us is cranial radiation that she gets in 2011. We are hoping it doesn't do too much permanent damage. That's all we can do, hope.

In exchange for chemotherapy and cranial radiation, Zoe will be getting a pony. At least that's what she wished for and it sounds like she'll get her wish. How could she not? When you are five and you have cancer, you can have ANYTHING you want! Isn't that a universal law? It should be...no kid deserves so much pain and confusion in their young life. Now should be the time that Zoe is at school making lifelong friends and dancing and learning to play the piano, not stuck at home with her boring and sometimes short-tempered mother or in a hospital room day after day.

2011 should bring on the disappearance of the diapers from our life...Gigi is starting to get the potty thing. I'll have to change this blog title. Sometimes I feel like regressing back to my diaper days just to not have to deal with things, though.

We wanted to travel with the girls more in the new year, but that will have to be put on hold for a while longer. I think our trips will extend to Chicago to the north and St. Louis to the south. I'll book a room at the Palmer House in Chicago so the girls can be wowed by the glittery gold ceiling that I admired so much as a child and we'll take them up into the Saint Louis Arch to gaze down at the magnificent Mississippi river.

We are hoping to hang onto Madison for a few more years, at least until Zoe is feeling a bit better. He's having problems walking now and Zoe is devastated to see him struggling. Please hold on a little longer, Madison. Zoe needs you.

Friends have played an important role in our lives this year. When a tragedy strikes at your soul, it's soothing to have so many hands and hearts to fall back upon for support. We are very lucky.

We have to get the barn ready for a summer-time arrival. We need to start this hobby farm out right...a pony and goats, fencing and hay, a farrier and grooming supplies...all need to be found and ready for Zoe and Gigi.

It's all for them.

It's all we have...our kids.