Parenting...How I Do It

I can have a tough exterior. 

I've been known to be a hard-ass, no holds barred kind of person. 

I don't take crap from anyone. 

In grade school I was that girl who punched the boys if they called me or my friends a name. 

I've always been loud and boisterous. 

But I'm also really quiet. 

Introverted. 

I never liked raising my hand in school to answer a question the teacher posed. 

I didn't know how to subtract or multiply or divide when everyone else did. 

I was too afraid to ask for help. 

I've always lived a bipolar life. 

I often wonder if I do harbour some sort of mental illness. 

Seriously. 

When Chad and I decided to have children I thought, I think as every woman does, will I be a good mom?

Will I have the compassion and heart to give to another human being?

One who I must have patience for? 

Who I must provide constant emotional care for?

Then Zoe was diagnosed with cancer. 

My life's mission became to make sure she got better. 

The hard-ass in me came out. 

In full force. 

I didn't feel sorry for myself. 

I spoke for her and let her cry and held her hand as she slept. 

I asked too many questions and researched all treatments and read about the horrific side effects. 

I had to put that shy part of my personality aside. 

The scared side. 

I had to be stronger than the strongest I thought I could be. 

On a scale of 1-10, I needed to be a 15. 

I think sometimes my kids believe I'm too tough. 

I make homework and piano practice a priority. 

Time with the family comes before anything. 

I don't condone disrespect at all. 

With me and Chad or with each other. 

They know to call their friends' parents Mr. and Mrs. 

I make sure they don't get left behind in their school work. 

They know how to subtract. 

How to write their letters. 

My point of this post is this...

My hard-ass personality and the life I lived up until September 7, 2010 enabled me to be the mother that my daughter needed to pull her through her disease. 

I often try to tell myself that I need to calm down about something. 

That I don't need to be so tough all of the time. 

But, as Popeye said, I am what I am. 

And I am the mom of a childhood cancer survivor. 

And she and I are tough together. 

Because I taught her to stand tall. 

And now we can stand together. 

This is part one in a series I'm doing simply titled "parenting...how I do it."