Do We Stink?

Did I miss something?

Why all of the fragrance additions to our laundry?

Purex crystals.  

Gain scent balls. 

Downy infusionators. 

Why are we all so stinky?

Did the 21st century enter into some sort of wormhole or time machine and we have been whooshed back to the 16th century?

Into the land of one bath a month (if you're lucky), lye soap (if you're lucky...eww), and snuff boxes full of lavender that we thrust under our noses when your neighbor reeks. 

Is Henry the VIII going to bump his cart into mine at Target next week in the ice cream aisle?

He won't have to worry about his stinky, festering leg if his servants have used scent additions to his robe and leggings last month. 

According to the commercials I see about these things, you will never stink again. 

Ever. 

Is there a soap and water shortage?

Are those low usage shower heads that we are all using not doing the trick?

I'm sorry, but I thought I smelled just fine. 

I thought everyone in my house smelled just fine. 

We use regular 'ol laundry soap, homemade or regular stain-fighting scented. 

We use the Target brand of dryer sheets to keep the socks from sticking to the insides of our trouser pants. 

Nothing as embarrassing as pulling a white sweat sock out of your pants while at a meeting at work, huh Chad?

I don't want to smell like a gardenia garden 24/7. 

We had to move our seats at the movies a few months ago because the lady sitting in front of us stank to high heaven.

I thought it was an overuse of Jéan Natè by the gal who sat down 5 minutes prior to showtime in the aisle ahead of ours. 

But, now that I think of it, it could have been an over use of scent additions that caused our noses to shrivel up and Gigi to pass out.*

Was it a Tide Warm Summer Breezes, Gain Hawaiin Scent Additions, Downy Baby Booty Powder overload?

Who knows. 

All I do know is that I'm not going to let advertisers tell me I stank. 

Or my family stanks. 

But, if I do really stank...slip me a note in my bag. 

Thanks. 

*Gigi really didn't pass out at the movie theater. That was my artistic embellishment, folks.  That lady did stink though and we moved seats before Oz started up. Gigi passed out later from the popcorn coma she put herself into.